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[31 Oct 2011|09:47pm] |
i want to play her again. :[ i just need time to do it.
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[04 Aug 2011|09:31am] |
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Any good communities as of late? I need a place that I might actually live in. I spent too much time on my girl to not use her.
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[06 May 2010|12:46am] |
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I'm so back and forth on if I should delete this stupid thing or not...
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[27 Apr 2010|11:42pm] |
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anyone here joining ~jersey?
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[03 Apr 2010|08:27pm] |
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Sigh. There's nothing to do....I mean, I could do the dishes, but I'll do that when I get back from the gym since I'm always wide awake after that. But as for now, I'm bored.
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[26 Feb 2010|12:27am] |
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too much attachment to this thing. it feels later than it is, and i should be sleeping. instead i'm thinking. i miss the way things use to be. i would love to give a specific time, but anything but now. i figure that im just not going to bother talking to anyone, and maybe time will fix things. nobody is the same anymore, and i've decided its not fair to myself to think that it's my fault.
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[13 Feb 2010|01:14pm] |
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I'm such a fucking idiot. I'm deleting this now.
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[12 Feb 2010|02:05pm] |
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wow, pming that was harder than i thought. i'm so sad. whatever. it doesn't matter.
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[03 Feb 2010|12:40am] |
They come and they go. I went almost a full year without any kind of anxiety attack, and part of me thinks its because I had distractions to keep me from thinking. All of the sudden they are back. I had one major one last month, and I ended up going over to my aunt's house and hanging out with my cousin so I could deal. Tonight, I've had 2 in a 5 hour period. My chest is tight and it still hurts to breath. I forgot how hard it is to deal with one that comes on full force. When it happens I seriously feel like I'm going to die, and I know it doesn't help but then I start thinking about death, and dying young. It makes me sound all depressed and shit, and I'm really not that bad. Yeah, I'm depressed but I'm not suicidal or anything. Fuck no. I just think about shit.
God, I'm bored. I've watched LA Ink all night. Which, I'm not complaining about. I dig it. I'm just not focused right. Like the universe is just off. I'm off. I thought about calling Kristen to see if she wanted to chill, but I forgot she had homework. She called though, and she asked me if I would be a brides maid in her wedding. It's kind of awkward because we don't know eachother all that great. I mean we only started hanging out recently, and we haven't known eachother for long, but I thought it was sweet.
I feel so empty and I don't know why. I can't find what I'm missing. I mean, some recent events have made me finally get over things in a certain retrospect of my life. An eye opener of sorts. I think that's one big factor of my depression right now. That and the fact that it's winter. I miss my friends. I miss Jo. I miss Jordan, and Anthony. I even miss Saundra sometimes. I miss music. Going to live shows. I miss Lindsay even though she fucked me over as far as being a roommate goes.
I wish this fucking awful weather would go away. I can't stand it anymore. I'm having a hard time dealing with anything.
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[02 Feb 2010|11:50am] |
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I give up. I'm so FUCKING stupid. I'm probably pushing everyone away, but I don't know how to change it. I don't know how to stop the fight that I'm having inside my head. Why why why. I can't talk about it.
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[30 Jan 2010|11:27pm] |
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apparently i take shit to personally, but shit. one step forward two steps back.
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[22 Jan 2010|06:41pm] |
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Live and let die.
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[16 Jan 2010|12:00pm] |
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apparently i have someone who has a crush on me. I went outside and there was a HUGE teddy bear in the back of my pick up. Im talking...this thing is bigger than me. No note, no nothing. Just a big red bow around its neck. WTF. First a puppy now this. What's next?
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[11 Jan 2010|11:37pm] |
OH LOOK. IT'S ROBO COP. THE ONE THAT FUCKED MY COUSIN. - Kelsey
That's one way to get out of a ticket. I fucking love her.
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[09 Jan 2010|08:55pm] |
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I feel like fucking shit and I'm freaking out over it. I'm a hypocondriac as it is, but I was out a week last month from being hardcore sick, now I feel like I'm about to blow chunks at any minute. Disgusting, I know...but for real. :[ Ugh. I need babied.
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[03 Jan 2010|11:59pm] |
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Someone hacked my emails and so now Im not getting emails to my blackberry. I dont remember my password to set up the emails because I think it had to do with Eddie and I'm doing a Eddie mental block.... but wtf seriously. Ill show you whats in there if you really want to see it. Just ask next time because I'm actually quite boring!
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[27 Dec 2009|03:28pm] |
I was at work today and my phone went off. It was a facebook notification that someone had "poked" me. I never understood it, but I looked to see who it was. It was him...
We aren't friends on there, and it was enough to make me know he at least still thinks about me. Lame, I know, but hey.
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[23 Dec 2009|09:49pm] |
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I'm so fucking annoyed. I'm not answering my phone again. I'm not texting...and I probably wont IM even if I'm signed on.
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| and please don't ask what this is about.... |
[22 Dec 2009|01:48pm] |
I shouldn't let my feelings get hurt over stupid rp shit. Maybe it's a sign I should just quit.
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